Out of Africa

In my dream I must help someone carry the remains/entrails of someone from the village. I am there when someone performs a ritual with them/on them. I am unsure why or how they died and I am both sickened and ashamed of them. When I return to the room where the entrails were originally stored but are no longer there I am worried that the room is somehow carrying a disease and that people will find me out.

In my dream I am in a place where survival is a daily task. I feel helpless. I am able to buy a healthy beautiful piglet and I do not plan on eating it. I feel happy. It turns out that the piglet is sick and I must turn it over to where the sick piglets are feeding from a weak mother. I feel helpless and horrible. Later the sick piglet will be butchered for food for people that are also already sick. I feel sick. I feel hopeless.

I am barely surviving.
I am scared.
I am sacrificing my resources to save something else. a beautiful little piglet.
I am giving up the something once it changes for the worse. sick piglet
I feel helpless and horrible. it is sick and will be used for food for the sick.
I am crying. I see the weak pig mother and the dozen sick piglets trying to feed.
I am feeling sick. I must abandon the piglet. I failed.

I work hard to try to save something from certain death but I do not have the supplies to do so, and seem to have made the situation worse

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There are things that I keep hidden for a reason, things I let lie. In my mind, getting started on this assignment would be a sign of progress and 11th self-salvation. I was relieved when I awoke this morning and remembered my dreams; I would have material to use for the assignment. After recalling my dreams I feel sick. Upon writing the last line and reading the instructions I feel like I have struck a sleeping body in the snow with an icepick. Blood is tainting the white snow. I try to cover it with more snow and the red seeps through. Fcuk.